Blogs · Poetry

Magic (Or the Lack of It)

Hello readers!

While this is not a poem itself, it opens up the doors to many of them that I have written… In other words, I wrote a book, which is now available to the public!

I am so grateful for those who have encouraged me and been by my side every step of the way. The path of a writer is a hard one to walk.

But we are all set to reach our destinations.

The book is titled: Magic (Or the Lack of It)

Hence the title of this post.

The description is: Love is a form of magic. This is the absence of that wonder.

In essence, it puts into words the Resentment and the Regret heartbreak causes.

You can find this at:

I hope you find reading these words as therapeutic as I found writing them.


Payton Polanco


The Mindset We Live By

It is not often that I will use this blog to post personal information, but this is very important to me, not only to enter for a scholarship with the Toptal Scholarships, but instead, to get the word out there.

To be honest, this is not specifically for that, but rather, this scholarship opportunity has made me realize that there is a valuable platform to spread this word: the ever-growing internet.

Now to address the problem we constantly face.

Our world has changed drastically, and it will continue to until our time on this earth as humans ends, and as it advances, we need to be able to not only acclimate, but actively participate in it.

The first thing people think about when I mention advancement is often technology, as social media and the devices we hold put things we never thought possible within our reach. But this is not the only form of our changing surroundings. Instead, we as a society are continuously evolving.

But not everyone is evolving with it.

For many reasons, some people are stuck in the past in regards to their views on the world. It is imperative that we open the eyes of those people not only the future, but the present.

They say that an old dog can’t learn new tricks, and in many ways this can be true.

So the key to this is…

Start young.

In school, we learn about so many subjects: math, English, foreign languages, history, etc.

We learn about the past and the basic structure of now, but we don’t learn the subjects that will help us navigate today.

So I am proposing a solution, a class that will address the subjects we have failed to time and time again: Life in the 21st Century.

To me, there are several that stand out, but two in particular that I am most connected to.

The first is LGBTQIA, and the fact that it is often looked down upon or deemed too taboo to discuss.

The biggest indicator in this is the word used to describe what we have taken steps to: Tolerance. You see, there is a vast gap between “tolerance” and “acceptance”.

Tolerance means that we acknowledge and deal with it. We either ignore the issue, or see it as something we do not refute.

Acceptance means that we greet it with open arms and offer the support people need. Now, I’m not saying that I expect everyone to sit in a circle and spill out their feelings, but to shift that tolerance to acceptance, we need to combat ignorance. And we cannot do that unless a dialogue is opened.

As a whole, the education system is too fearful to truly breach this topic, and as a result there are many people who are not exposed to the reality of it. This is a huge factor in prejudice. And as it is becoming a growing part of society, we must be able to have open minds.

Proposing this in a safe environment with an educational backing and an unbiased instructor has the potential to change lives.

The second subject is even more prevalent than the first, and it affects more people than most expect: mental health.

Though we have begun to be more open to this, it is still not taken as seriously as it should be. So many people are affected by this, whether they choose to admit it or not. Often times, people go to the latter, because they fear judgment.

Yet this impacts a vast majority of teens.

Be it anxiety brought on by environmental factors, clinical depression, or anything in between, we should be able to openly discuss this in a way that will encourage people to speak out rather than hold their tongues.

For the last issue, the biggest indicator I have seen was the term used.

For this issue, there is something much more dire: suicide jokes.

The gravity of words cannot be expressed enough, and the ramification of the things we say can be unimaginable. Almost every day, I hear someone laugh about this more than serious topic, from high school students to actual adults.

Personally, I don’t often feel that it is out of malice. A large reason for this is, yet again, ignorance.

I believe that sticks and stones may break bones, but words can scar a soul.

Said to the wrong person on the wrong day, a life could be lost, something many don’t realize until it is too late.

These are only two of the many things that this class has the potential to bring to light. Social media, domestic abuse, sexual assault, and other hidden puzzle pieces that fit in the image of society can be taught.

I am under no illusion that this will be easy, nor do I think it will be taken well by all.

But it needs to happen.

Now come the necessary tools to make this dream a reality.

One of the most important and necessary components is the guidance of adults educated on the topics addressed.

It would be easy to make a math teacher sacrifice a period to halfheartedly spit out information, but that would almost defeat the purpose of the class itself. A valuable asset is someone who not only has the information about this, but instead, is passionate about it.

Having a person who is personally connected to the topics would provide a much better and more involved manner of education. Though they may not realize it, teachers’ attitudes majorly influence the experience of the students. It is easy to identify a willing teacher versus a passionate teacher.

Obviously, the latter will evoke a much better response.

The second thing that would be extremely helpful is school funding. Rather than sitting in a classroom and reading a book, an immersive experience would pull students toward being more receptive. Going out in the world and seeing how it applies to real life will help students realize that this is not something contained in a classroom bubble.

Of course, it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but visiting places and seeing things that are outside the box some students live in will expand their knowledge more than a slideshow.

The third thing that would be appreciated is guest speakers. Having people who have been directly affected by what is learned in the class speak to that group would be priceless to the impact the class has.

Many classes are able to incorporate this in their lessons, and as a whole, it takes the education a step further. They are putting faces to what is being taught, rather than leaving it as a hypothetical situation, or one that is on paper.

Of course, the most important thing needed is approval. If not passed by the necessary people, there is an insurmountable obstacle. Having someone who is able to influence the “higher ups” would further the chances of success.

I would be willing to pilot it at my own school as an elective offered. But again, without the right support, it is simply impossible.

A mentor specifically for me would be invaluable. I will be the first to admit that I don’t know all of the ins and outs of the education system. Doing this on my own would prove to be much more difficult than having someone experienced in the field to help.

Also, someone who will be able to provide me with the training and opportunity to speak to the public will provide much more public access and gain much more support. I am well versed in writing, and I have experience speaking to audiences, but I would need assistance on addressing the masses on a larger scale.

Even though I am educated on some of this, I cannot say that I am a jack of all trades. I have much to learn, and with the guidance of a person who will help me refine my knowledge in order to give proper education and information, I think much more will be possible.

What will we be, and where will we go if so many people are rooted in the past? How will our world become a better place if ignorance prevails? These are important questions we must ask not only the people around us, but ourselves.

So many people want change, but few are willing to take the step to make it happen. Silence can be deafening, and with it ringing loud, we can never be heard.

I am finally coming forward, and shouting so people can hear me.

And let me ask you…

Are you willing to change the mindset we live by?


-Payton Polanco


Forgive Your Sins

I always see the best in people,

My greatest gift and greatest flaw,

Because I look so hard for the good

That I force myself to forget the bad,

Or refuse to see it in the first place.

And when others try to put

The flashing signs in front of my face,

I close my eyes and walk past them.


So I get my heart punctured,

And there are times I almost bleed out.

I let myself get so lost in the ecstasy

That I ignore the pain that is sure to come

Until it tears my skin and fractures my bones.

But when I care I feel that time is fleeting,

And we don’t have time to waste

On holding onto the hurt,

So I try to let it go.

I forgive and give until

There is nothing left for me to offer,

And when I am empty handed

I still try to let others take

What I don’t have .

I let them breathe my air

And steal precious beats of my heart

With the blind hope that in the end

It will be worth all I have sacrificed.


Tainted Memories

We were built on tainted memories,

Starlight stained with stolen kisses,

And I thought the cuts

Didn’t run too deep,

But there was so much I didn’t see.


Like how the moonbeams

Didn’t seem to illuminate

The darkness between us,

And the millions of questions

We didn’t want to answer.


Or the blood

Dripping from my chest

Onto the white rose

That once represented

My innocence and purity,

And painting it red

With the color of sin.


And now I know

That there is no way

To wash away the marks

We have carved into stone,

So the only thing we can do

Is say goodbye.



Happy Again

You whisper in my ear

Sweet nothings that seem

To make my heart

Pound in my chest

Like the beat of a drum,

And I don’t want

For you to ever stop.


Hold me tightly

In the middle

Of the black night,

And be my moon

Be my stars

That will chase away

The darkness that I fear.


Kiss me softly

And let me feel

All you will give me,

All I am willing

To give in return

As I lose myself

In your gentle touch.


I want to inhale you,

Or let you course

Through my veins.

Make me forget

The horrid world

That crushes me

Every single day.


So Cocaine I ask

For your rush and ability

To take me away to

A place I don’t know,

Better than the torture

I go through without

A single break.


Heroin I call you

To flood me inside

With your promises,

Even if they are

Nothing but lies

To comfort my soul,

And even for a second

Make me happy again.


A Bit Like Horror

Falling in love

Is a bit like a horror movie,

With you in the starring role.


It starts out nice

A good, happy day

With nothing seemingly wrong,

But you know that there’s something

Just around the corner.

Something in you suspects

That there might be a thing going on.


Your heart will race

When you feel it coming,

Pounding in your chest

Like the beat of a drum

With your hands getting sweaty,

And your breaths a bit shaky.


When it hits,

You’ll be scared,

And you will never know

What is around the bend,

Or what is at the end

Of the dark, creaky hallway.


People will make stupid decisions,

Including you sometimes,

And you’ll watch others die,

Even when they fight to save it.


You’ll want to run sometimes,

Get away as fast as possible,

Or you might want to give up

And let your own die,

Just to stop the fear

And the pain that it might cause.


But it’s worth fighting for,

Both your life and your heart.

If you believe you can

Defeat the monsters

That try to get in your way,

You might come out bruised,

And there may be a few scars,

But you’ll feel more alive

Than you ever had before.


Follow @peoplethatneverexisted on Instagram for more

Flip the Cliche

A Spill of Fate

“I am so sorry!” She apologized as the handsome man stared at her in shock, the coffee she’d spilled on him staining his shirt. For a split second, when she looked into his eyes, she thought it was fate. Then, a minute later, she found herself dripping, soaked in the coffee he’d poured on her head. He walked out without looking back.


When a Rose Dies

When a rose dies,

People weep

As the colorful petals

Turn brown and brittle

And fall to the ground.

But when a person

Sickens in the trenches,

Withering away

Until nothing is left,

People turn a blind eye,

While they let the victim

Fade into oblivion.


When a dove’s

Softened white feathers

Are soaked in blood

People cry.

But when soldiers

Who have been drenched

In a metallic red

For our freedom

Return to the place

They call home,

There is nowhere to go,

A new war to survive,

Abandoned on the streets.


When two towers

That used to symbolize

Unwavering strength

Come crashing down,

People bawl.

But when a city

Is blown to vapor,

Hundreds of thousands

Of innocent lives lost,

People cheer because

It ended a war,

Though it made

Countless ghosts.


So when what we see

As beautiful treasure

Is taken away,

We weep.

We cry.

We bawl.

But when the perfect

Facade does not exist,

We pay no heed

To its disappearance,

Because in this world

A veneer is more valuable

Than any ugly truth.


The Chimney Sweeper

“And by came an Angel who had a bright key
And he open’d the coffins & set them all free.
Then down a green plain leaping laughing they run
And wash in a river and shine in the Sun.”

-William Blake “The Chimney Sweeper”

This poem is absolutely beautiful in every way. The extended metaphor and symbolism are fantastic, and it is my dream to be able to write like that. It is probably my favorite poem of all time. You will not regret reading it. Even though I have read it so many times, it feels like magic each time I look over it again.

Also, just as a side note, I found a giant treasury of classic poetry at a bookstore. I cannot seem to tear my eyes away from it. It’s honestly next to me right now, and I refuse to put it anywhere else.


Let the Dawn Come

Let the blue sky

Wash into a sea

Of red, orange, and yellow.

Let the sun shine

Onto fields of wheat.

Let the tall grass in the meadow

Be covered in morning dewdrops.

Let the dawn come.


Let the wind

Rustle the leaves of a tree

As light bursts from

The uneven horizon.

Let rays of sweet sunshine

Illuminate the world around

And expose the hidden

Crevices of the night.

Let the dawn come.


Let the horrors of

The dark stormy night

Fade away in a cacophony

Of vibrant new colors.

Let the gray clouds part

To release the day that follows

As the heavens peer through.

Let the dawn come.


Let the sadness wash away

To spark up a fiery soul

That has never been seen

Before the load is lightened.

Let eyes see that,

Through every trial of despair

And the moments when

It is a new moon only offering

A shrouded feeling of hopelessness,

Every night comes to an end

As light rises from the shadow

And the single thing to do is

Let the dawn come.